Guest Post: Top 10 Reasons to Hate William & Mary
Zac won last week’s prediction contest and earned the right to guest post. He’s a two time winner who recently offered up his Top 10 Dukes. Here’s another list that we think you’ll all dig. Take it away Zac.
(Two trailer park girls go round the outside)
*Guess who’s back, back again? Dirty’s back, tell a friend.*
Hello Dukes Fans, Zac here, back to entertain, explain and help you ascertain with unconstrained disdain just how we lucky are to have the Nerds as rivals. Seriously, I love those guys. I mean, they’re total nerds and I love beating them at football, but hey, we are lucky to have someone that fills that role.
Before we start, some background: W&M is indeed one of our biggest rivals, and before PurpleHazed blames Jeff Bourne for that, it’s for historical reasons. W&M is the team we’ve played most in football. Do you know how I know this? The Mick told me. Actually, I told him.
When I was a freshman, back in 2002, the Student Duke Club had a coaches meet and greet in the Convo. Mick was there and did a trivia section for prizes.
(Sidebar: Before he began, he introduced himself and gave a little background on his coaching history, listing where he had coached. When he listed UGA, me, being the good Georgian that I am, responded with “Go Dawgs!”. Mick looked up and said “who’s from Georgia?” I raised my hand, and he asked “Where are you from, boy?” “Savannah, sir.” He chuckled to himself and said “Savannah, huh? That’s a pretty town….. can you read and write? Did you turn the lights out when you left?”…. God, I miss The Mick.)
One of the trivia questions was “which team has JMU played the most?” I got it right and The Mick gave me a visor, which to my eternal dismay I no longer possess. Seriously, I would give a pinky to have that visor back.
But, if you don’t want to take my word for it, take the internet’s.
We’ve played W&M 36 times, and the series stands at 20-16. Which means if we win this weekend, the series will stand at… 21-16. Yup.
So, having established that, my top 10 reasons I love hating W&M:
10. NEEERRRRRDDDSSSSSSSSS
Duh. Come on. It’s so easy. They are nerds, and hardly try to argue otherwise. It’s even fun to say. Say it with me: NERRRRRRRRRRRDDDDSSSSSSSS!
9. It’s actually a rivalry
Sure, we’re 11-4 in games since 2000 (1-0 in the playoffs all-time), but we’re only 4-2 since 2008. As mentioned, the series is at 20-16.
8. It’s a rivalry in other sports
Basketball. Ugh, the less I say more about that the better. But the fact that they have been whoopin’ us in bball (especially in the conference tournament) makes beating them in football that much sweeter. Also they always have goofy looking white guys that make it easy to root against them and yell their names angrily. RUST-HOVENNNNNN!
7. They are our polar opposite
They are stiff, rigid, lame, dusty, old, serious. We are joyful, loose, awesome, clean, young, fun. Their campus is like a library. Their parties are like group projects. Our campus is beautiful, spacious. Our parties are aggressive.
6. They inspire our creativity
This was for the 2004 Playoff game. It’s still the peak of my creative output and one of my proudest moments.
5. Some of their fans are cool
This is important. It’s not like all of their fans are total douchebags like Richmond. I have had great interactions with a lot of their fans that were very knowledgeable and well spoken. They didn’t come across as conceited know-it-alls. They had realistic views on their sports teams, and were people I wouldn’t mind sharing a beer with.
4. Some of their fans are terrible
This is also important. I need someone to just hate. And those people are the ones who use the “you’re going to work for us” chant, or talk about how JMU was their safety school. Also the people at the playoff game in 2004 who threw a full, unopened can of beer at a pregnant woman as we walked into the stadium. I’ve never been so ready to fight someone in my life. Except for Joe Millionaire. He gets his own bullet point:
3. Joe Millionaire
So at the 2004 playoff game, I had the above awesome incredible sign that got so much playtime on ESPN2. Well, one W&M fan in particular did not appreciate seeing it as he walked by, probably because he had just looked at the scoreboard and we were up by like 30. I don’t blame him. But he walked up to the bottom of the stands where I was sitting, and began to verbally assault me. The guy had no colors on (no surprise there), but I guess he self-identified as a W&M fan or a nerd and took offense to both. He invited me, not so cordially, down to the bottom of the stairs to engaged in fisticuffs. I was in the middle of about 100 JMU fans, and felt no pressure to do so. However, the dude was like 5’6″, and I’m a solid 6″, so I wish I had. To this day my friends act like he could have taken me, but I know I would have destroyed him. Oh, and by the way he looked entirely like a short Joe Millionaire.
2. They’ve given us so many great ways to make fun of them
The infamous (yet sadly gone from the internet) Plywood video, Lang Campbell stealing children’s bikes, the “Not in our house, not on this night” T-Shirts they wore to the 2004 playoff game, Pugs, the pantless Griffin, beating them without attempting a pass, oh man. I love them. They are so generous to us.
1. They gave us this picture
I know I linked it last time, but it’s worth another look.
It’s so beautiful. I want to hang it over my mantle.
So as you can see, W&M has been a really great rival of ours. Sure, I want to eventually leave them in the dust. But, for the time being, I will appreciate them as a rival and always look forwards to Dukes/Tribe in the fall. And, say it with me one more time:
NEERRRRRRDDDDDDDSSSSSSSS!
FOUND THE PLYWOOD VIDEO: Scroll to the bottom.
http://jmuwindbreaker.blogspot.com/2009/09/w-school-spirit-fail.html
Price,
I love your guest posts. So ready for 21-16.
Enjoyed the Post Zac and thanks for the video link. I had not seen that one before. OUCH!
This is the best JMUSB guest post I’ve ever read. I fully intend to heckle from the stands- as if I were screaming into the very ears of all their players- with “NEERRRRDDSSSS.” I’ll be more hospitable to any W&M passersby because, after all, they’re our guests. Well… maybe I’ll whisper “neeerrrrddsss” to myself in that scenario.
I love a good rivalry, but I really love the Dukes. Here’s to another great Homecoming in the ‘burg!
Def. one of the all-time best guest posts. Great job Zac!
I actually have a color print of Juice smashing that weak-a** d-back hanging on the wall of my office….
….the same office where I’ve fired at least two W&M graduates in the past 10 years. So in regard to item #4 in your list…. they can put that in their peace-pipe and smoke it.
I didn’t put it in the article, 2004, but I actually got into w&m but chose not to go there. I have never looked back.
Great job Zac! And you didn’t even point out their absolutely horrific bleachers. To their credit, they did hire JMU alum Chuck “Voice of the Tribe” Wolf (’86) announce their games.
Go Dukes!
This was great. When I saw the heading I thought “oh man here we go.” But that was an excellent post. It was respectful but fun. I sometimes worry about some JMU/other CAA school fans who lack that one true, hated rival because they tend to take out the vitriol schools have for their one rival and spew on to every opponent even when they don’t deserve that hate. But this post was not that. It captured this rivalry perfectly! A true dislike between two different schools who can still respect each other. Well done.
I don’t know how many of you know this but I am the Assistant Director of Marketing here at William and Mary now and a proud JMU alum of 2013. To say I am torn Saturday is an understatement. Instead of saying Go Dukes! OR Go Tribe! I will simply say “GTHR” Go to hell Richmond. We can all agree on that.
@Zac – W&M was my ‘safety’ school as well:) Accepted at both but chose JMU!
Same here —- I gave both W&M and UVa the heisman to attend JMU. Best decision ever!!!
Honorable Mention reasons to hate W&M:
– Has anyone ever seen their horrific tribal girl dance team, I saw them at the game last year in Williamsburg — I have seen better dancing on my daughters 7-10 year old dance group than was on display with that bunch — they are just brutal.
– W&M does not have a ‘real’ marching band — just a crappy pep-band in rugby shirts.
And another reason not to like them:
– W&M did not have enough ‘Sac’ to keep their Tribe moniker. How is ‘Tribe’ defamatory. Too PC… Griffin!