{"id":4513,"date":"2012-10-16T21:32:37","date_gmt":"2012-10-17T01:32:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jmusportsblog.com\/?p=4513"},"modified":"2012-10-16T21:47:22","modified_gmt":"2012-10-17T01:47:22","slug":"guest-blogger-the-duke-dog-shelter-for-battered-jmu-fans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jmusportsblog.com\/?p=4513","title":{"rendered":"Guest Blogger: The Duke Dog Shelter for Battered JMU Fans"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Reader 2004Duke came closest to predicting the final score of last weekend’s win over William & Mary. As a result he got to guest post. Here’s his take on Saturday’s game and the JMU offensive philosophy. <\/em><\/div>\n
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First of all, I would like to offer my deepest apologies to any children sitting within 50 yards of me at the game on Saturday. I know you\u2019ve never heard any of those strange words you heard during the first overtime period, and I know that there are certain physical actions that were suggested by (a) certain fans (fan) that your parents might have a hard time explaining to you. You see kids, there are certain times when it is appropriate to address a situation in an assertive way, such as suggesting the coaching staff is anatomically incomplete or should attempt to do something that is not physically possible. One such situation (and please, please do not ever forget this) is when you have the ball on the 1 yard line in OT against a 2-4 team in your home stadium in front of 20,000 fans AND YOU LINE UP IN THE SHOTGUN (Pistol).   
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I swore I was going to buck the cranky old man moniker this time (I avoided the temptation to write an entire post on how only cowards run east\/west and real teams run north\/south).  Here is my feeble attempt-  MM coaches what I call \u201cWitchdoctor Football\u201d.  A perfect example of this was during the Towson game.  During the pregame interviews, Towson\u2019s Coach talked about playmakers, strategy and motivating his players.  Where was Mickey\u2019s head?  The wind.  He talked about the wind.  While everyone else in America is looking at pictures of the defensive alignments and feverishly scribbling X\u2019s and O\u2019s on the sidelines, MM is licking his finger and holding it up in the air (breaking for the occasional visor toss). Don\u2019t turn the ball over, punt, play defense and play field position. \u201cWitchdoctor football\u201d reminds me of golf-  it is more important to judge the wind, contour of the fairway, height of the grass, pin position and softness of the green than it is to just hit the damn ball as far as you can and try to get it in the hole with the fewest stokes possible (Consequently, MM is a scratch golfer). In the case of this weekend, \u201cWitchdoctor football\u201d must have included sacrificing a chicken (or half-naked eagle) and placing a hex on the Fighting Geeks\u2019 kicker. I definitely give him my game ball.<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p>\n

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We decided this weekend that JMU has got to be the WORST GOOD football team in the country. Even when we win (which we usually do), it often feels like we lost.  Rather than be really excited about our win, we go to bed (or pass out) Saturday night frustrated about our dysfunctional offense, or our defense\u2019s inability to defend the forward pass. Then we wake up Sunday morning and find out we are the #2 team in the nation, and come back for another weekend of purple pride, hot girls, fantastic tailgating and winning despite getting beaten in every statistical category.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

At the end of the day, with all due credit to MM, \u201cwitchdoctor football\u201d works. He rode that horse to 101 wins. If we need to start punting on 1st down or lining up for a hail mary from the one-inch line to win 101 more games and another national championship- so be it\u2026I\u2019ll just be sure to wear oversized dark sunglasses and long sleeves to cover the bruises.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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P.S.- I would also like to extend a special you suck dart to masses of current JMU students who walked out on a 17-17 game against an in-state rival.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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From a proud alumni who did not help build that stadium and program with literal blood, sweat, tears and hard-earned cash so you could treat it as \u201cjust pregaming for Fox Hills\u201d.<\/p>\n

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