Guest Post: Top 10 Reasons I @#$%&! Hate Richmond
Zac is particularly fired up for Richmond week and agreed to add to the excitement with a guest post. Enjoy!
I’m not holding back. After a week of GETTING HYPE for this game, I’m ready to let them have it. This isn’t going to be a feel good post like my W&M Top 10. This is the real f***ing deal and nothing but pure old fashioned hate. Without further ado, my top 10 reasons I f***king hate RU.
10. Its Students
Now look, I have a lot of great friends from NJ. We can’t bust on them for the amount of Jersites, because, hell, JMU has a lot. Most of my closest JMU friends are Jersites. I’m okay with that. Jersey can actually be really nice! (South Jersey, anyways). But RU must take only Northern New Jersey kids or just the worst kids from the South. Because I’ve literally never met anyone from RU that I liked. Seriously, just the worst bunch of stuck up silver spoon piece of crap students ever. I literally will stay away from someone once introduced if i found out they went to RU. Deep down I always knew I hated them, but once it comes to light I’m like “nope, no thanks.” **** ’em.
9. Its Alumni
God, they’re the worst. They think they insult us by calling us Barneys. They are old, white people. Seriously. That’s it. Just a bunch of old white people. I think the worst part is that they actually don’t care, and that makes us mad. W&M alums care more about their teams than RU fans. Unless they’re winning, then they literally come out of the woodwork (true to their tick nature, I suppose). Although I will say I love FrontRoyalSpiderU and Sachmo, because they’re both old and senile and easy to make fun of. I also respect SpiderU’s hate for us, he’s the only Tick with any balls. Even if he does have dementia.
8. “Fans”
I’ve got the fans here separated for a few reasons. A) Unlike JMU, if you’re an RU student or Alum it doesn’t make you a fan. Also, even if you really are a “fan”, you aren’t. And that’s mostly because: HOW DO YOU NOT SELL OUT AN 8,000 SEAT FIELD??? (It’s not a stadium. It’s just not). YOU GUYS WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE! COME ON, MAN!
7. $$$$
Really? I don’t know what it costs now, but when I was in school going to RU for a year was the same cost as going to JMU for 4. Talk about a lack of ROI. Luckily, RU student’s parents are loaded and can waste their money so exorbitantly. Sure, their campus is kind of nice. But 4 times as nice as JMU? Hell no. Idiots.
6. No Band
That’s a picture of a high school band playing on RU’s field. Because they don’t have a band. Also because they’re a high school team, and play on a High School Field. Not to mention they pay VCU kids to come and play as their pep band at basketball games. Talk about embarrassing! Also, they had the audacity to throw batteries at our band in 2008 while they were performing for them. That is some booooosh*t.
5. Mascot
GOOD GOD. KILL IT WITH FIRE. How does that not scare the hell out of every little kid? What’s that? There are practically no little kids at RU games because all of their Alums are in their 80s? What about Grandkids? No? Okay. Just the worst looking Tick I’ve ever seen. It can’t even be called a spider. I won’t give them that respect. I just won’t.
4. Coach
I might get in trouble here with Rob and Todd, because their only rule was no personal attacks. I won’t attack Coach Rocco personally. I will say I would be embarrassed if my head coach was known for starting a guy who was a convicted coke dealer. That’s all. Oh also he’s a cheater and a douchebag and is already trying to sway the refs.
Also, as you can see above, he always looks like someone just stuck a finger up his butt. Seriously, google “Danny Rocco.” I’ll wait. Yep, see? Every single one. Finger up butt.
3. History
There’s a reason we’re rivals, and that’s because we’ve always hated each other. So many great games back and forth. We can’t seem to win at the new field, mostly because it feels like a scrimmage behind UREC. They can’t win in Harrisonburg without the help of Justin Thorpe. All in all, they’re a good rival. BUT I STILL HATE THEM.
2. “Stadium”
How do you win a National Championship and downsize your stadium? It makes me furious. I hate them so much for it. I honestly, literally, 100% believe it’s because we used to put more JMU fans into City Stadium than RU fans. I really do. Which makes me hate them even more.
Sweet track, bro! Oh, collapsible stands for all 20 of your students that show up? That’s cool! Pathetic.
1. Streamergate
I couldn’t find a picture of it, but at our first game in the Bread Box I saw something that made me so ragey I literally could have murdered someone. I’m so glad I wasn’t in that section, because I would be writing this from prison. RU students threw red and blue streamers. REALLY? REALLY?!?! YOU’RE GOING TO TRY AND STEAL OUR TRADITION? AND NOT REALLY EVEN DO A GOOD JOB AT IT?
I mean, if I was an RU fan, I’d be embarrassed! How do they let them keep it up? Also, mix that with them not letting us bring in our streamers, it really makes me mad. But I guess it’s mostly pathetic. Why you would try to mimic a tradition of your biggest rival, a tradition that everyone associates with that team, is beyond me. But I guess that’s why I’m not a RU fan.
Okay, that felt good. I feel better now. Thanks to Rob and Todd for giving me a platform to get it all out. If you guys liked my stuff, let them know and maybe I’ll write some more stuff.
GO DUKES!
u mad bro?
so mad. and rightfully so!
down with the Ticks!
This was beautiful. *wipes tear*
As i was growing up, the only football games i ever went to were JMU games, so streamer throwing was always second nature to me. The first time I went to another college game, I asked my friend where the streamers were. “What streamers?” “What do you mean ‘what streamers?’ You know, the streamers you throw when the team scores?” And thats how I found out that JMU had officially been recognized as the coolest place ever.
btw, that game (^) was 2008 JMU vs Richmond. I was in the high school marching band that played the halftime show that fateful day. Also, to be fair, as we were walking around the track to get ready for our show, JMU fans were throwing stuff at us as well.
I wasn’t at Streamergate, but when I heard the tale told by my friend who was on the front lines, I damn near caused a scene in D-Hall. So much rage.
Good writing always summons a reaction and/or emotion out of the reader, and you, sir, have done it again.
The worst part about streamer gate was how I was forbidden to bring streamers into the stadium while i saw them passing out the streamers to the RU “rowdies”. I had them in my coat pockets and the RMC person made me throw them away…Tick Pricks
love it bro – just next time, it’s “UR”