Offseason Report: Let’s Talk JMU Dodgeball

Both football and basketball seasons are in the rearview mirror. Which is sort of a bummer for fans, and it’s pretty much complete misery for us as bloggers. On the bright side it also gives us a chance to get outside our comfort zones and explore new things. Today we’re going to dive into the exciting world of JMU dodgeball.

Now we know we don’t need to tell anyone about the JMU Dodgeball team. Come on, it’s college dodgeball, just trying getting through a day anywhere in this great country of ours without being dragged into a debate about it. But just for grins, go ahead and pretend you’re not intimately aware of all things JMU Dodgeball related and allow us to bring you up to speed.

Like any club worth a damn, the Dukes are a part of the National Collegiate Dodgeball Association or NCDA for short. But JMU isn’t just some struggling mid-major dodgeball program that can’t compete on the court but is kept afloat by massive corporate dollars and seemingly limitless ticket revenue. It’s a powerhouse program. And by powerhouse, we mean it’s up there with the Central Michigan University and Grand Valley State University programs of the world. You’re damn right we just said it. Anyone who tries to claim JMU isn’t on the level of CMU or GVSU doesn’t know jack about college dodgeball.

The NCDA doesn’t rely on polls for its rankings. Obviously, with something as emotional as college dodgeball, no mere human would be able to retain his or her objectivity. And no matter how badly the television networks try to push it, it’s just impossible logistically for all the top teams to play each other. So traditional standings are out of the question as well. Instead, the NCDA uses a complex algorithm to rank its teams. According to that algorithm, JMU is currently the 3rd best team in the NCDA. That’s right, third, behind only the aforementioned Central Michigan University and Grand Valley State University.

Which brings us to this, the winning streak. In case you’ve been living under a rock, we’re referring to GVSU’s recent 41 game winning streak. This of course equaled their own NCDA record streak that spanned from 2006-2010. Heading into the recent CMU Showdown, GVSU had won 39 straight and could have stretched the streak to 42 games by taking 3 straight. They ended up falling to tourney hosts CMU after defeating our beloved Dukes to push the streak to 41. So the Dukes are a bit of an asterisk or an answer to a soon to be classic sports trivia question.

Predictably, the GVSU players were a bit disappointed after falling to CMU. And with the relentless media pressure and constant badgering by reporters, we’d forgive them for slipping up slightly in post game interviews. However, GVSU assistant captain Dylan Fettig had a quote that went so far over the line that everyone can’t stop talking about it. You know the one we’re referring to. When asked about the GVSU victory over the Dukes, he said “The JMU game was kind of a letdown because they just lost to CMU, so they were playing slow and without purpose [emphasis mine].”

Whoa. Slow and without purpose? What ever happened to the code of the dodgeballer? Dodgeball is a game of honor. Players don’t denigrate their opponents. They just don’t. And the quote further exposes Mr. Fettig’s ignorance, because as it has been reported all over, JMU was in fact intentionally playing slow to counter the freewheeling attack of GVSU. Slow, yes, but definitely not without purpose. JMU’s gameplan was a nearly flawless execution of the Callahan Downtempo Heave strategy. As everyone knows that strategy was popularized in the 1980s to counter some of the high paced offenses of the day. GVSU just countered it perfectly against JMU at the 2015 CMU Showdown.

So hat’s off to Mr. Fettig and his teammates for some outstanding dodgeballing. Maybe next time he’ll show a little more respect for both his opponents and for the history of the game.

JMU really does have a club dodgeball team, and we’re sure it’s really fun. And about the only thing we weren’t kidding about above is that the team is really good. If you’d like to learn more, check it out on Facebook. If you do join, please beat those punks from GVSU.