Losing This Fantasy League Is Better Than Winning Your Fantasy League

Like many of you, our lives were profoundly impacted by our time at JMU. College represents the proverbial quest for knowledge, and we did in fact learn a great many things as undergrads. One of those things that we have carried with us the longest is a deep appreciation for the Waffle House. Late night breakfasts after being slightly over-served were a regular occurrence for us as undergrads. And they were terrific. Scattered, smothered, & chunked and a chicken melt with a sweet tea just can’t be beat sometimes. So when we found out some guy had to spent 30 straight hours in Waffle House as a punishment for losing his fantasy football league, of course we had to weigh in.

It almost goes without saying that this is not a punishment. At all. Punishments by definition are supposed to unpleasant or even painful. Getting the chance to spend 30 hours in cozy little restaurant, filled with friendly people, a jukebox that is guaranteed to have both the “Waffle House Song” and a variety of Johnny Cash classics, while having virtually unlimited access to all the waffles, hash browns, and patty melts you can eat? Not a punishment.

The guys in this fantasy league are either clinically insane or the most spoiled people on earth. The loser gets 30 uninterrupted hours of bliss in one of our country’s iconic institutions. What do you get for winning the league, a personal chef and a goose that shits hundred dollar bills? It’s nuts. Implement this sort of a “punishment” in any fantasy league we’ve ever played in and suddenly it becomes pure pandemonium. We’re talking full on tankapolooza and fist fights over the right to draft Cleveland Brown’s QBs in the first round. It would be a total race to the bottom. Spending 30 straight hours a Waffle House is more bucket list stuff than punishment. But maybe that’s just us.